All my life I’ve struggled with my weight, my body and my fitness. My metabolism is archetypically endomorphic. If I look at something high calorie, I gain weight.
I’m not a very vain person, or at least no more than any normal human being but I think it’s safe to say that when you’re a “chunky” it has a massive effect on your whole life and really colours your body image. People say that you should learn to love yourself as you, that it’s the personality and what’s on the inside which counts but what happens if the person in your head, is not the person in your body?
That’s my big problem with my own body. The “me” I see in the mirror, isn’t the “me” that I feel like. My self image, despite constant reminders otherwise, is of a slimmer man. Much akin to people with gender identity issues, I find myself trapped in someone elses’ body. It doesn’t and hasn’t ever felt like mine. I have “body identity” issues.
In essence: I’m a slim guy trapped in a fat man’s body.
Like many people with similar issues, I’ve flitted from fad to fad and never really tackled the problem fully head-on. For whatever reason, a switch has now flipped in my head and it’s time to commit to some drastic action.
I do know, from experience, that I am capable of losing weight pretty rapidly under the right circumstances so I’ve taken a leaf out of my friend Rob’s book (Weight loss) and have begun a programme which sees me doing a 1000 calorie diet for a period of no less than 10 weeks (or however long it takes).
As Rob mentions in his post on this, it is about weight loss first, and a total lifestyle change around eating and my relationship to food. It’s also about committing to keep such changes up over a longer period and nothing motivates (I feel) like the prospect of public humiliation… so I’m posting this knowing that if I “fall off the wagon” I’ll have public egg on my face.
After that comes the fitness regime! I have a goal to run a Marathon in late 2011 or early 2012. Given that I’ve never run further than to my front door in my life, that will be a whole other challenge. First though it’s down with the 22Kg excess baggage…
Starting Weight: 94Kg – Target Weight: 72Kg
Week 1 complete. Weight: 92Kg
Just 20Kg to go…
Wish me luck!